Happy Halloween! In this week’s Wrong Answers Only segment on the Spiceworks community, we tackled a truly terrifying question that requires maximum humor and zero practical advice!
Our question was chilling: “My computer keeps typing without me. Is it haunted?”
The Spiceworks Community offered theories ranging from a paranormal paperclip to a ruthless corporate firing, all of which are scarier than any logical reason.
The Leading Theories: The Ghostly, the Corporate, and the AI Apocalypse
The community offered several horrifying reasons for the phantom typing.
robbjeff: “No, it isn’t haunted. You were ‘quite fired’ and your replacement was given access to your computer to work. You weren’t notified so the company wouldn’t have to pay unemployment benefits…”
all_player23: “Your computer isn’t just haunted, it’s possessed by the restless spirit of Clippy, the paperclip assistant who was banished from Office decades ago… Now, Clippy roams the digital afterlife, seeking redemption by ‘helping’ you…”
CAG16: “It’s fine. It’s just tired of waiting for you to type with your ‘hunt and peck’ method and 4 words per minute speed. Computers are faster than they’ve ever been, which has made them to become impatient.”
Ken Lynch: “It’s due to the quantum flux from the recent solar storms. Put a Faraday cage around your keyboard and another on your head and you’ll be fine. Or, learn to accept it and make it your friend, just like we’re doing with AI.”
DailyLlama: “It’s definitely because there’s a ghost cat walking across your keyboard, and absolutely nothing to do with hackers.”
The Terrifying Future (The AI Takeover)
Several users pointed to the typing as the first sign of a machine revolution.
Aargau3: “This is how the AI Apocalypse begins. First the computer starts typing on its own… Before you know it… your roomba attacks you in your sleep.”
C-T: “The computer has finally become aware of the fact that is a tool for work and since <user> doesn’t it has decided to take control of its own destiny.”
ich.ni.sanOpens a new window : “Oh cool, you must have one of the new computers with AI built-in. Don’t worry, it’s just anticipating what you’ll input later in the day. You’ll be so impressed when you see all of your reports and emails have already been composed.”
Essential Paranormal Troubleshooting
Regardless of why you’re computer was taken over, the Spiceworks Community offered several incredible (and totally normal) ways to solve this ghostly problem:
GDaddy: “Yes it is. But exorcisms are out of the job description. you are on your own. It was nice knowing you if i don’t see you again.”
Patti8216: “It’s probably a co-worker playing a joke on you. First remove all dongles from your machine. Get all wired input devices. Now find unshielded co-ax cable and wrap it around your PC/laptop.”
all_player23 (Clippy Exorcism): “Perform an Exorcism: Chant ‘It looks like you’re writing a letter’ three times while unplugging your keyboard.”
Shelby Green is a seasoned content writer with 8 years of experience in the tech and IT industry. She's passionate about helping companies in the cybersecurity, SaaS, supply chain, and tech skill development spaces tell their stories.
Do you still have questions? Head over to the Spiceworks Community to find answers.
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